Ok, I realize that "sponges" is not a very exciting title for a blog....but that's the only thing I could come up with on 1/4 cup of coffee.
We often say Children's brains are like sponges. They absorb everything. Funny, cuz when we are adults and end up with a spongy brain we are diagnosed with "Mad Cow Disease" (not the scientific name, but you get what I mean). So, WHY do we want children to have spongy brains?
I think they have spongy ears. I am always amazed at the things they hear that they shouldn't hear. Perhaps it's more of a selective sponge.
Bubba: "WOOHOO! PIZZA FOR DINNER!!"
Me: "Who said?"
Bubba: "You just whispered it to Dad."
Me: "Two seconds ago I was standing right beside you and told you to do your chores but you didn't hear that! NOW you hear me whispering to dad in the other room??"
Bubba: "When did you tell me to do my chores?"
Me, repeating my new daily mantra: "Don't kill anyone today, don't kill anyone today..."
In the meantime, Banana loves school. I'm not sure exactly why. She spends a chunk of the day on the phone calling me at which point I remind her to behave and work hard. "Ok, Mom", she always replies.
Shortly after that phone call from Banana the other day the school Principal called me. Apparently, my little spongy head FORGOT that she had said, "OK Mom" just a few short minutes before. Part of the problem with sponges is that they dry out and everything that was absorbed is gone and all that is left behind is yucky stuff. So apparently, Banana was left with a yucky stuff brain that day.
Principal: "Banana is sitting like a rock on the floor and refuses to do anything. Usually if we tell her we are going to call Mom it works to get her moving. It didn't work this time, so we are calling you"
Me (in my head wondering what exactly I'm supposed to do about it when I'm at work 20 minutes away): "Ok, let me talk to her"
Banana: "Hi Mom!"
Me: "I thought I just told you to work hard and you said you would"
Banana: "I changed my mind"
Me: "That isn't an option."
Banana: "But I don't WANT to"
Me: "You are at school to learn and I expect you to go DO that. Do I have to come out there? Because if I have to come to your school YOU will not like the consequences"
Banana: "No"
Me: "So, you are going to go work hard now"
Banana: "BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!"
Me: "Banana, I am NOT giving you a choice. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THE FLOOR AND GO WORK HARD!!!"
Banana:" FINE, MOM!!" followed by slamming down of the phone as she hangs up on me.
I didn't receive another phone call that day.
When cows have spongy brains they put them down. If I put my children down for having spongy brains I'd get time in a place I would not be happy to be in...I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like the food or the company.
Do rabbits get spongy brains?
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Pink Elephants
It's difficult working with a child who does not have the ability to recognize the difference between "real" and "pretend". I happen to have TWO of them.
Bubba believes anything he reads on the computer is "real". At 14, he also believes his parents are idiots...this makes for an interesting combination.
Me:"How do you KNOW she is a 14 year old girl living in New York?"
Bubba: "Cuz she told me she was"
Me: "Bubba, ANYONE can say ANYTHING on the computer, that does NOT make it real!"
Bubba: "Well, she is cuz she showed me some pictures"
Me:" Do you realize how easy it is to send pictures on a computer that are not yours? You could grab any picture off the web and say its you"
Bubba: "Well, that's stupid, why would I do that?"
Me:" I'm not saying YOU would do it, but it can be done. You could be talking to a 70 year old male who "likes" young boys and you wouldn't know it."
Bubba: "Well, clearly, the picture would be of a 70 yr. old man then"
Me:"He could take pictures of his granddaughter and send them to you and say its him"
Bubba: "No, she is a 14 year old girl. I know it."
*Sigh*
Banana's confusing is a little simpler, but no less easy to explain. This morning she was watching tv.
Banana: "I didn't know there are pink elephants"
Me: "There aren't"
Banana: "Yes there are, it's on tv"
Me: "That's a cartoon, it's not real"
Banana (giving me a funny look): "It's right there!"
Me: "Banana, cartoons are drawings, they are not real"
Banana: "My drawings don't move"
Me: "The people that make the tv shows draw ALOT of pictures then use a camera to take pictures of them and make them move fast."
I demonstrate a flip book with a stick figure.
Banana: "But where is the pink elephant"
Me: "I can't draw a pink elephant"
Banana: "But it's on the tv"
Me: "I didn't draw the one on the tv"
Banana; "Oh"
Five minutes later,
Banana: "But where do pink elephants COME from?"
Me: "Pink elephant mommies in Australia"
I know that in a few years I will look back and laugh at this....but for now....I wish I was a rabbit.
Bubba believes anything he reads on the computer is "real". At 14, he also believes his parents are idiots...this makes for an interesting combination.
Me:"How do you KNOW she is a 14 year old girl living in New York?"
Bubba: "Cuz she told me she was"
Me: "Bubba, ANYONE can say ANYTHING on the computer, that does NOT make it real!"
Bubba: "Well, she is cuz she showed me some pictures"
Me:" Do you realize how easy it is to send pictures on a computer that are not yours? You could grab any picture off the web and say its you"
Bubba: "Well, that's stupid, why would I do that?"
Me:" I'm not saying YOU would do it, but it can be done. You could be talking to a 70 year old male who "likes" young boys and you wouldn't know it."
Bubba: "Well, clearly, the picture would be of a 70 yr. old man then"
Me:"He could take pictures of his granddaughter and send them to you and say its him"
Bubba: "No, she is a 14 year old girl. I know it."
*Sigh*
Banana's confusing is a little simpler, but no less easy to explain. This morning she was watching tv.
Banana: "I didn't know there are pink elephants"
Me: "There aren't"
Banana: "Yes there are, it's on tv"
Me: "That's a cartoon, it's not real"
Banana (giving me a funny look): "It's right there!"
Me: "Banana, cartoons are drawings, they are not real"
Banana: "My drawings don't move"
Me: "The people that make the tv shows draw ALOT of pictures then use a camera to take pictures of them and make them move fast."
I demonstrate a flip book with a stick figure.
Banana: "But where is the pink elephant"
Me: "I can't draw a pink elephant"
Banana: "But it's on the tv"
Me: "I didn't draw the one on the tv"
Banana; "Oh"
Five minutes later,
Banana: "But where do pink elephants COME from?"
Me: "Pink elephant mommies in Australia"
I know that in a few years I will look back and laugh at this....but for now....I wish I was a rabbit.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Older Children
I thought I'd start the new year out right...with a blog! My oldest two children enjoy following my blog...probably because it isn't about them. So, I thought this one would be about them. The New Year is a year of reflection for me...and boy, do I have a lot to reflect on!
Lizard is my oldest. She started life struggling but has grown to be a beautiful, intelligent young woman (who has given me a grandson!). She was always bright....to smart for her own good really. She joined the Army at 17 (It's ok, I signed the papers). She left for boot camp August 3rd, 2010, Banana's 3rd birthday. Lizard was my rock, I cried for three months after she left. Lizard is also my answer to every unsolvable math problem....("I don't know, Skype your sister!"). Lizard was a born leader.
Cat is my second oldest. Born exactly 15 months after Lizard. Also, beautiful and intelligent! She is still close to home, living with her boyfriend Don Juan, who I also adore. Had they been born in reverse things probably would have been different. However, Cat had no issues with Lizard being the leader....except for a frequently sore bottom, until I figured it out. The two of them were the "Wonder Twins" when they were younger...they made me "wonder" A LOT!
Cat often tells me I should of had her first...and then stopped. Looking back, I can see why she might have wanted that. Cat was a cuddle bug while Lizard was Miss Independent. Cat was a follower, especially of Lizard whom she worshipped until she realized that worshipping Lizard got her in trouble!
The girls, together, were highly creative. They loved to finger-paint...preferably on their walls....with poop. They didn't love to get spankings and clean it up...but they finger-painted on a daily basis for quite some time anyway. Apparently, the painting was enjoyable enough that putting up with the spanking was worth it. Oh, and if you are wondering, apparently apple peels don't get digested and therefore they are edible the second time around.....
My brilliant girls discovered for me, that raw eggs fit down vacuum cleaner hoses. I did not know this. It is fun rolling eggs down through the vacuum cleaner hose onto the floor and watching them crack all over the new carpet. I was extremely impressed! (Note: It is not fun cleaning raw egg out of carpet!).
They also discovered that pickle sandwiches with parmesan cheese make for a great breakfast. I quickly started putting containers together with yogurt, cereal and a pickle on the side (I left off the parmesan cheese)....I hate pickles, they make me gag. They got their love for pickles from their dad, I blamed him for this one.
My girls have been my biggest supporters. When I decided to go back to school and get my bachelor's and then my master's degrees, they cheered me on. They have both since told me how proud they are of me, and how much of an inspiration I was for them. If you haven't been told by your children that you have inspired them...I can assure you, it is the best feeling ever....there are no words to describe what that is like.
When I chose to adopt Banana both girls backed me 110%. They, like me, didn't give a second thought to how she came to be in our lives, Banana was their sister, from day one. They loved her as much as I did. Besides, babies are fun..even babies born with drug addiction. Both of the girls assisted me whenever they could with Banana...changing diapers, feeding her, taking lots and lots of pictures, playing with her. Banana was the BEST toy ever...and also a good advertisement for birth control to two teenage girls!
Sometimes, I miss those days...though, not cleaning poop off the walls (I'm pretty sure the Army is glad I broke Lizard of that as well). I'm glad I wasn't a rabbit then.
Lizard is my oldest. She started life struggling but has grown to be a beautiful, intelligent young woman (who has given me a grandson!). She was always bright....to smart for her own good really. She joined the Army at 17 (It's ok, I signed the papers). She left for boot camp August 3rd, 2010, Banana's 3rd birthday. Lizard was my rock, I cried for three months after she left. Lizard is also my answer to every unsolvable math problem....("I don't know, Skype your sister!"). Lizard was a born leader.
Cat is my second oldest. Born exactly 15 months after Lizard. Also, beautiful and intelligent! She is still close to home, living with her boyfriend Don Juan, who I also adore. Had they been born in reverse things probably would have been different. However, Cat had no issues with Lizard being the leader....except for a frequently sore bottom, until I figured it out. The two of them were the "Wonder Twins" when they were younger...they made me "wonder" A LOT!
Cat often tells me I should of had her first...and then stopped. Looking back, I can see why she might have wanted that. Cat was a cuddle bug while Lizard was Miss Independent. Cat was a follower, especially of Lizard whom she worshipped until she realized that worshipping Lizard got her in trouble!
The girls, together, were highly creative. They loved to finger-paint...preferably on their walls....with poop. They didn't love to get spankings and clean it up...but they finger-painted on a daily basis for quite some time anyway. Apparently, the painting was enjoyable enough that putting up with the spanking was worth it. Oh, and if you are wondering, apparently apple peels don't get digested and therefore they are edible the second time around.....
My brilliant girls discovered for me, that raw eggs fit down vacuum cleaner hoses. I did not know this. It is fun rolling eggs down through the vacuum cleaner hose onto the floor and watching them crack all over the new carpet. I was extremely impressed! (Note: It is not fun cleaning raw egg out of carpet!).
They also discovered that pickle sandwiches with parmesan cheese make for a great breakfast. I quickly started putting containers together with yogurt, cereal and a pickle on the side (I left off the parmesan cheese)....I hate pickles, they make me gag. They got their love for pickles from their dad, I blamed him for this one.
My girls have been my biggest supporters. When I decided to go back to school and get my bachelor's and then my master's degrees, they cheered me on. They have both since told me how proud they are of me, and how much of an inspiration I was for them. If you haven't been told by your children that you have inspired them...I can assure you, it is the best feeling ever....there are no words to describe what that is like.
When I chose to adopt Banana both girls backed me 110%. They, like me, didn't give a second thought to how she came to be in our lives, Banana was their sister, from day one. They loved her as much as I did. Besides, babies are fun..even babies born with drug addiction. Both of the girls assisted me whenever they could with Banana...changing diapers, feeding her, taking lots and lots of pictures, playing with her. Banana was the BEST toy ever...and also a good advertisement for birth control to two teenage girls!
Sometimes, I miss those days...though, not cleaning poop off the walls (I'm pretty sure the Army is glad I broke Lizard of that as well). I'm glad I wasn't a rabbit then.
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