Pink Elephants

It's difficult working with a child who does not have the ability to recognize the difference between "real" and "pretend".  I happen to have TWO of them.

Bubba believes anything he reads on the computer is "real".  At 14, he also believes his parents are idiots...this makes for an interesting combination. 

Me:"How do you KNOW she is a 14 year old girl living in New York?"
Bubba: "Cuz she told me she was"
Me: "Bubba, ANYONE can say ANYTHING on the computer, that does NOT make it real!"
Bubba: "Well, she is cuz she showed me some pictures"
Me:" Do you realize how easy it is to send pictures on a computer that are not yours?  You could grab any picture off the web and say its you"
Bubba: "Well, that's stupid, why would I do that?"
Me:" I'm not saying YOU would do it, but it can be done.  You could be talking to a 70 year old male who "likes" young boys and you wouldn't know it."
Bubba: "Well, clearly, the picture would be of a 70 yr. old man then"
Me:"He could take pictures of his granddaughter and send them to you and say its him"
Bubba: "No, she is a 14 year old girl.  I know it."

*Sigh*

Banana's confusing is a little simpler, but no less easy to explain.  This morning she was watching tv.

Banana: "I didn't know there are pink elephants"
Me: "There aren't"
Banana: "Yes there are, it's on tv"
Me: "That's a cartoon, it's not real"
Banana (giving me a funny look): "It's right there!"
Me: "Banana, cartoons are drawings, they are not real"
Banana: "My drawings don't move"
Me: "The people that make the tv shows draw ALOT of pictures then use a camera to take pictures of them and make them move fast."

I demonstrate a flip book with a stick figure.

Banana: "But where is the pink elephant"
Me: "I can't draw a pink elephant"
Banana: "But it's on the tv"
Me: "I didn't draw the one on the tv"
Banana; "Oh"

Five minutes later,

Banana: "But where do pink elephants COME from?"
Me: "Pink elephant mommies in Australia"

I know that in a few years I will look back and laugh at this....but for now....I wish I was a rabbit.