So it's official. Bubba has his first broken heart. She is a young girl who lives out of state who he has never met face-to-face, but never the less he has developed a strong emotional attachment to her. Unfortunately, her father found some of their "adult" conversations and put a stop to the relationship. At 15, it's tough having a broken heart. I went into his room the other night to comfort him, using the usual Mom advise....
"Bubba, I know it's hard, and you had strong feelings for her, but time really DOES heal all wounds. The longer you don't talk to her and don't look at her pictures the easier it will get"
Bubba: "NO, she was THE ONE Mom, I just KNOW it!"
Me: "Oh, Bubba...at your age, your sisters were always sure that the person they were dating was "THE ONE" too, but I assure you, the older you get the and the more relationships you are in the more you will understand what love is."
Bubba: "But you don't understand Mom, I LOVE HER! You don't know what it's like to be in love!!"
Me, giving him "that huh? look"....thinks...OK, I have FOUR children but of course, I have NO CLUE what it's like to "be in love".
Me: "I realize you think that now, but some day you will look back and realize that I just might know what I'm talking about! I've been in love. I lost my first love when I was 17, and believe me, it HURT! I still wonder about him sometimes, still dream about him often...I get it!!
Bubba: "It's NOT the same, you will never understand"
Me: "Your sisters said that too"
Bubba: "I'm not my sisters"
Me: "Clearly!"
Five minutes later, Bubba comes into my room.
Bubba: "Do you still love him?"
Me: "Who?"
Bubba: "Your first love, from when you were 17?"
Me: "Bubba, love is not a light switch that you can turn on and off. Yes, I do still love him, very much. You don't just stop loving someone because you aren't with them."
Bubba: "I'M TELLING DAD!"
Sigh, I wish I was a rabbit. I could avoid dealing with broken hearted tattling teenagers if I was a rabbit...because I would have eaten him before he became a teenager.
In the meantime, Banana is dealing with her own little drama. She is upset with me because the dogs talk to me and not to her.
Banana sits on the couch next to Java and says, "Wanna play?" Then looks at me and asks, "What did she say?"
Me: "She didn't say anything"
Banana: "Yes, she did"
Me: "No she didn't"
Banana: "Yes she did"
Me: "No she didn't"
Banana: "Yes she did"
Me: "Ok, what did she say?"
Banana: "I don't know, she doesn't talk to me, what DID she say?"
Me: "Ok she said she doesn't want to play right now she wants to sleep"
Banana: "That's NOT her voice! You have to do it the right voice!"
Sigh....yeah, I really do wish I was a rabbit.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Sunday, November 16, 2014
I'm an Addict
Has it really been almost two months since I last wrote a blog?? Where did the time go?? Well, I titled the Blog "My Crazy Life" for a reason...and the past few months have been crazy! I can't even remember any of the super funny stuff that has happened because of all the super crazy stuff! Martin says I have "old timers disease"...I think it's just stress.
So in the past month, things have changed at work. I have a new boss....sort of. I'm about to get a new really LONG title which basically means Program Coordinator....but isn't call that. Lizard and her family have moved to Germany. Cat has had some health problems...and several traffic tickets that I have been trying to help her with. Thank goodness she has a supportive boyfriend.
Bubba broke his pinky finger in Phys Ed. I told him THAT is why I don't exercise because it is "dangerous". He said, "Yeah, right Mom...." It's not MY fault I like to eat and don't appear to have a shut off valve. Banana is doing great in school and is a monster at home....I suppose I can't expect her to behave ALL the time....though, once in awhile would be NICE. Martin started his own painting business and has been busy with that.
However, over the past couple months I have come to the realization that I am an addict. Specifically to food. Somehow, no one else was surprised by this, yet no one ever informed me. I'm also addicted to coffee, chocolate (which counts as food I suppose) and cigarettes. Freud would call this an oral fixation. I don't like Freud.
The problem with being addicted to food (and lazy) is that it's slowly killing me. I have high cholesterol, I'm pre-diabetic, my blood pressure is starting to do funny stuff, and my body has constant aches and pains from the extra weight it carries around. Not to mention what it's doing to my teeth (which are probably all about to fall out of my head). The other problem is that I have absolutely no motivation to fix this. I'd rather eat a whoopie pie or candy...or ice cream....or popcorn...(I could go on and on), then eat healthy food and exercise.
On top of loving food (though, oddly I hate to cook!). I'm also an emotional eater. Happy, sad, angry...well maybe not angry...tired....I eat (and drink coffee). At work it's usually junk food because I (and occasionally others) am always bringing in treats (donuts, whoopie pies, cookies, etc.). This time of year, community members start bringing treats as well. If there are sweets in the building, I can't seem to say no....I have no ambition to say no. I WANT SWEETS!!!
I told Martin the other day that I have decided to be in denial...I'm not fat...I have a benign tumor in my stomach. He said, "I do too!"...
I hate the way I look. I hate that little kids ask me if my "baby is a boy or girl?"...I'm not having a baby....it's a tumor....ok, it's not...I'm just fat....majorly obese type fat. Because I'm addicted to food.
UGH!!!
So in the past month, things have changed at work. I have a new boss....sort of. I'm about to get a new really LONG title which basically means Program Coordinator....but isn't call that. Lizard and her family have moved to Germany. Cat has had some health problems...and several traffic tickets that I have been trying to help her with. Thank goodness she has a supportive boyfriend.
Bubba broke his pinky finger in Phys Ed. I told him THAT is why I don't exercise because it is "dangerous". He said, "Yeah, right Mom...." It's not MY fault I like to eat and don't appear to have a shut off valve. Banana is doing great in school and is a monster at home....I suppose I can't expect her to behave ALL the time....though, once in awhile would be NICE. Martin started his own painting business and has been busy with that.
However, over the past couple months I have come to the realization that I am an addict. Specifically to food. Somehow, no one else was surprised by this, yet no one ever informed me. I'm also addicted to coffee, chocolate (which counts as food I suppose) and cigarettes. Freud would call this an oral fixation. I don't like Freud.
The problem with being addicted to food (and lazy) is that it's slowly killing me. I have high cholesterol, I'm pre-diabetic, my blood pressure is starting to do funny stuff, and my body has constant aches and pains from the extra weight it carries around. Not to mention what it's doing to my teeth (which are probably all about to fall out of my head). The other problem is that I have absolutely no motivation to fix this. I'd rather eat a whoopie pie or candy...or ice cream....or popcorn...(I could go on and on), then eat healthy food and exercise.
On top of loving food (though, oddly I hate to cook!). I'm also an emotional eater. Happy, sad, angry...well maybe not angry...tired....I eat (and drink coffee). At work it's usually junk food because I (and occasionally others) am always bringing in treats (donuts, whoopie pies, cookies, etc.). This time of year, community members start bringing treats as well. If there are sweets in the building, I can't seem to say no....I have no ambition to say no. I WANT SWEETS!!!
I told Martin the other day that I have decided to be in denial...I'm not fat...I have a benign tumor in my stomach. He said, "I do too!"...
I hate the way I look. I hate that little kids ask me if my "baby is a boy or girl?"...I'm not having a baby....it's a tumor....ok, it's not...I'm just fat....majorly obese type fat. Because I'm addicted to food.
UGH!!!
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Questionable Brain Function
Some days I sit here listening to what is going on around me and have to question the function of the brain of certain people in this house. Now if it's under 18 people, I can't blame them entirely. I must blame their father, (clearly it isn't MY fault!).
Bubba was brushing his teeth tonight and spit into the bathroom sink several times. Afterwards, Dad walks into the bathroom and yells, "Bubba, come rinse out the sink!"
Bubba: "I can't"
Dad: "What do you mean you can't?"
Bubba:" The water isn't working right"
Dad: "What do you MEAN that water isn't working right?"
Bubba: "It isn't spraying everywhere like it's supposed to!"
Dad: "It got fixed a two weeks ago, it wasn't SUPPOSED to be spraying everywhere"
Bubba: "Oh, well, then I can't clean out the sink", as he walks in and cleans out the sink.
Sitting here listening, I'm thinking...hmmm.....I'm SURE we have Clorox Wipes around here...but let the boys figure that one out (sorry MEN).
I pointed out to Bubba that if he AIMS his spit better it will go right down the hole and he won't have to clean the sink. I'm not sure Dad was impressed with that idea....
Putting Banana to bed tonight, Daddy reminded her to use a Pull Up.
Banana: "Why? I don't wike pull ups!"
Daddy: "Because I do your laundry and I don't wanna clean pee and poop out of your underpants!
Banana: "I won't. I PROMISE!"
Daddy: "You're right, you won't because you will have a Pull Up on!!!"
Banana: "But I ALREADY pee'd in my underpants today!!"
Daddy and I just kind of looked at each other. Banana put on her Pull Up and put her underpants in the wash.
Thank Goodness for Daddy's and their patience....after a crazy busy day at work...I was NOT so patient. (I bet Daddy wished he was a rabbit today!!!)
I suppose, if I look SUPER close I could find a few MINOR brain function deficiencies of my own. But I'm sure there are not many! For instance....
Yesterday at work everyone BUT me was cold. I was pretty sure I was gonna have to run naked around the office just to be semi-comfortable. HOWEVER, I was nice and turned up the thermostat. Listening closely I noticed the furnace didn't kick on. Well, ok, it's been sitting awhile...probably just needs flushed....but I decided to text our electrician JUST IN CASE.
The electrician text me back telling me to call the oil dude. OK...I call the oil dude who promises to come "today" to look at it.
Oil dude DID show up....fifteen minutes prior to closing time. He went down to the basement and yelled up the stairs to turn the thermostat ALL the way up.
"OK" I think, and turn up the thermostat. Then I stand there awaiting my next direction. As I stand there, I happen to stare (don't ask me why) at said thermostat...after a few seconds of staring it occurs to me...I turned the thermostat UP but I never turned it ON. So, I did what comes natural...and turned on the switch. The furnace comes right on!
I yelled down the stairs..."I FIXED IT!!" The oil dude comes up and asks what I did...I of course replied, "I turned it on". However, he was then convinced that something HAD to be wrong (because clearly it couldn't have been that simple, he wouldn't get paid for it if it was) and spent the next hour flushing the system. I'm pretty sure the system was just fine.
I DID however text the electrician back and told him his first question to me SHOULD have been, "Did you turn it on?" At which time I would have realized the problem..THEREFORE...clearly it's the electricians brain malfunction and NOT mine!
Bubba was brushing his teeth tonight and spit into the bathroom sink several times. Afterwards, Dad walks into the bathroom and yells, "Bubba, come rinse out the sink!"
Bubba: "I can't"
Dad: "What do you mean you can't?"
Bubba:" The water isn't working right"
Dad: "What do you MEAN that water isn't working right?"
Bubba: "It isn't spraying everywhere like it's supposed to!"
Dad: "It got fixed a two weeks ago, it wasn't SUPPOSED to be spraying everywhere"
Bubba: "Oh, well, then I can't clean out the sink", as he walks in and cleans out the sink.
Sitting here listening, I'm thinking...hmmm.....I'm SURE we have Clorox Wipes around here...but let the boys figure that one out (sorry MEN).
I pointed out to Bubba that if he AIMS his spit better it will go right down the hole and he won't have to clean the sink. I'm not sure Dad was impressed with that idea....
Putting Banana to bed tonight, Daddy reminded her to use a Pull Up.
Banana: "Why? I don't wike pull ups!"
Daddy: "Because I do your laundry and I don't wanna clean pee and poop out of your underpants!
Banana: "I won't. I PROMISE!"
Daddy: "You're right, you won't because you will have a Pull Up on!!!"
Banana: "But I ALREADY pee'd in my underpants today!!"
Daddy and I just kind of looked at each other. Banana put on her Pull Up and put her underpants in the wash.
Thank Goodness for Daddy's and their patience....after a crazy busy day at work...I was NOT so patient. (I bet Daddy wished he was a rabbit today!!!)
I suppose, if I look SUPER close I could find a few MINOR brain function deficiencies of my own. But I'm sure there are not many! For instance....
Yesterday at work everyone BUT me was cold. I was pretty sure I was gonna have to run naked around the office just to be semi-comfortable. HOWEVER, I was nice and turned up the thermostat. Listening closely I noticed the furnace didn't kick on. Well, ok, it's been sitting awhile...probably just needs flushed....but I decided to text our electrician JUST IN CASE.
The electrician text me back telling me to call the oil dude. OK...I call the oil dude who promises to come "today" to look at it.
Oil dude DID show up....fifteen minutes prior to closing time. He went down to the basement and yelled up the stairs to turn the thermostat ALL the way up.
"OK" I think, and turn up the thermostat. Then I stand there awaiting my next direction. As I stand there, I happen to stare (don't ask me why) at said thermostat...after a few seconds of staring it occurs to me...I turned the thermostat UP but I never turned it ON. So, I did what comes natural...and turned on the switch. The furnace comes right on!
I yelled down the stairs..."I FIXED IT!!" The oil dude comes up and asks what I did...I of course replied, "I turned it on". However, he was then convinced that something HAD to be wrong (because clearly it couldn't have been that simple, he wouldn't get paid for it if it was) and spent the next hour flushing the system. I'm pretty sure the system was just fine.
I DID however text the electrician back and told him his first question to me SHOULD have been, "Did you turn it on?" At which time I would have realized the problem..THEREFORE...clearly it's the electricians brain malfunction and NOT mine!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
A bit of a rant
So this situation with the Baltimore Ravens in which they have fired Raymond Rice has been all over the news lately. I must take a few minutes to rant about it.
FIRST....Raymond Rice should have been fired immediately not merely suspended for a few games. The ONLY reason the Ravens finally fired Rice is NOT because he abused his then fiancé (now wife), but because there is a video of that abuse and that video has gone public. The Ravens name has been sullied by one of their own....THAT is the reason Rice is gone.
THIS IS WRONG!!! This would be the PERFECT opportunity for the Ravens to take a stand AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!! A perfect chance for pro sports teams EVERYWHERE to say, WE WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THIS BEHAVIOR FROM OUR PLAYERS!!! A perfect chance for pro sports teams EVERYWHERE to say, OUR FEMALE FANS ARE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO US AND WE CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM!!!!
SECOND....the press is asking the WRONG question! The question is NOT...WHY DOESN'T SHE LEAVE? The question is, WHY DOES HE ABUSE??? I put it simply to someone today.
Me: "Do you have a pet?"
O: "Yes"
Me: "Do you love your pet?"
O: "Yes, my cat is part of my family!! I can't imagine my life without him in it!"
Me: "Has your pet every hurt you?"
O: (shows me a scratch):"Just this morning he scratched me and made me bleed".
Me: "And how did you respond?"
O: "I put him down, went and washed off my arm and put a bandaid on then started petting him again".
Me: "What?? You didn't just leave??"
O:(laughing) "Of course not...I love him."
Me: "You didn't kick him out?"
O: "No, he doesn't scratch me all the time, just sometimes when he is irritated with me, but it's never that bad"
Me...just waiting for the lightbulb to pop on.
It's always fun watching the light bulb come on!
I haven't posted any family stuff recently because my kids have not been particularly funny. However, I will say that this morning Reno got into trouble for peeing in Banana's room. Now, while Reno INSISTED he did NOT do it, I was sure he had so he was sent outside, IN the rain for a bit. He came back in and since no one else was home decided that he was on Doggy House Arrest and pouted until he fell asleep (I know this because he told me...and I saw it on the camera).
When I got home from work today, Banana finally admitted to me that it was SHE who had peed on her floor and not Reno. I made her mop it up because her room was stinky, and I apologized profusely to Reno. I'm pretty sure he had NO idea what was going on, but he loved the attention anyway.
In the meantime, I have been researching (if asking on FB can be called research) how to brush Banana's hair in the morning without being screamed at, hit, spit on, kicked, etc. The other morning, MISS STUBBORN PANTS was refusing to do ANYTHING I requested. So, standing with the hair brush in my hand, I finally said, "DON'T ANGER THE WOMAN WITH THE HAIR BRUSH!!!" I'm pretty sure that during the brushing she was second guessing her behavior. But her hair looked good and she had a good day at school.
I should have just eaten her....a rabbit would have!
FIRST....Raymond Rice should have been fired immediately not merely suspended for a few games. The ONLY reason the Ravens finally fired Rice is NOT because he abused his then fiancé (now wife), but because there is a video of that abuse and that video has gone public. The Ravens name has been sullied by one of their own....THAT is the reason Rice is gone.
THIS IS WRONG!!! This would be the PERFECT opportunity for the Ravens to take a stand AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!! A perfect chance for pro sports teams EVERYWHERE to say, WE WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THIS BEHAVIOR FROM OUR PLAYERS!!! A perfect chance for pro sports teams EVERYWHERE to say, OUR FEMALE FANS ARE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO US AND WE CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM!!!!
SECOND....the press is asking the WRONG question! The question is NOT...WHY DOESN'T SHE LEAVE? The question is, WHY DOES HE ABUSE??? I put it simply to someone today.
Me: "Do you have a pet?"
O: "Yes"
Me: "Do you love your pet?"
O: "Yes, my cat is part of my family!! I can't imagine my life without him in it!"
Me: "Has your pet every hurt you?"
O: (shows me a scratch):"Just this morning he scratched me and made me bleed".
Me: "And how did you respond?"
O: "I put him down, went and washed off my arm and put a bandaid on then started petting him again".
Me: "What?? You didn't just leave??"
O:(laughing) "Of course not...I love him."
Me: "You didn't kick him out?"
O: "No, he doesn't scratch me all the time, just sometimes when he is irritated with me, but it's never that bad"
Me...just waiting for the lightbulb to pop on.
It's always fun watching the light bulb come on!
I haven't posted any family stuff recently because my kids have not been particularly funny. However, I will say that this morning Reno got into trouble for peeing in Banana's room. Now, while Reno INSISTED he did NOT do it, I was sure he had so he was sent outside, IN the rain for a bit. He came back in and since no one else was home decided that he was on Doggy House Arrest and pouted until he fell asleep (I know this because he told me...and I saw it on the camera).
When I got home from work today, Banana finally admitted to me that it was SHE who had peed on her floor and not Reno. I made her mop it up because her room was stinky, and I apologized profusely to Reno. I'm pretty sure he had NO idea what was going on, but he loved the attention anyway.
In the meantime, I have been researching (if asking on FB can be called research) how to brush Banana's hair in the morning without being screamed at, hit, spit on, kicked, etc. The other morning, MISS STUBBORN PANTS was refusing to do ANYTHING I requested. So, standing with the hair brush in my hand, I finally said, "DON'T ANGER THE WOMAN WITH THE HAIR BRUSH!!!" I'm pretty sure that during the brushing she was second guessing her behavior. But her hair looked good and she had a good day at school.
I should have just eaten her....a rabbit would have!
Friday, August 15, 2014
Oh the Conversations...
Sometimes, you just HAVE to laugh!!! Words are an interesting thing, especially in my house...
Dad: "What's a placebo?"
Bubba: "Seriously?"
Dad: "What?"
Bubba: "You have children and you don't know what a placebo is??"
I'm quite perplexed at the moment (the whole one eyebrow raised type of perplexed) so I chose to let the conversation continue.....
Dad: "Oh? and you DO?"
Bubba: "Yeah it's that thing that connects a baby to its mother. Sometimes, babies are born with it around there necks."
Me, totally dumbstruck...."Ummm, no that's a PLACENTA"
BAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!
Thankfully, Bubba will be starting his freshmen year in about 12 days, hopefully during Health Class he will finally learn the difference between a placebo and a placenta....if not life will continue to be full of interesting conversations.
Last week, Banana was in BIG trouble with Daddy. However, she is smirking while getting spoken to.
Dad: "You think I'm kidding"
Banana: "Yeah"
Dad: "I'm dead serious!"
Banana: "You're not dead"
BAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
I'm glad I'm not a rabbit.
Dad: "What's a placebo?"
Bubba: "Seriously?"
Dad: "What?"
Bubba: "You have children and you don't know what a placebo is??"
I'm quite perplexed at the moment (the whole one eyebrow raised type of perplexed) so I chose to let the conversation continue.....
Dad: "Oh? and you DO?"
Bubba: "Yeah it's that thing that connects a baby to its mother. Sometimes, babies are born with it around there necks."
Me, totally dumbstruck...."Ummm, no that's a PLACENTA"
BAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!
Thankfully, Bubba will be starting his freshmen year in about 12 days, hopefully during Health Class he will finally learn the difference between a placebo and a placenta....if not life will continue to be full of interesting conversations.
Last week, Banana was in BIG trouble with Daddy. However, she is smirking while getting spoken to.
Dad: "You think I'm kidding"
Banana: "Yeah"
Dad: "I'm dead serious!"
Banana: "You're not dead"
BAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
I'm glad I'm not a rabbit.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
It's Always an Adventure
Children that are supposed to be medicated and are not, are not fun....as a matter of fact they are quite the opposite. So, it should be NO surprise that when Banana's medication ran out I wanted to quickly get a refill. Therein starts the adventure...
I went into panic mode as I couldn't find the prescription. Her dad and I looked everywhere we could possibly think of...it was nowhere to be found. So sitting at work yesterday, it occurred to me since the prescription had been written ahead of time, I PROBABLY had dropped it off at the pharmacy and asked them to hold it on file...so I wouldn't lose it. After work I went to the pharmacy....nope, no prescription on file (but they did give me the wrong meds for Bubba). Back home I went where Dad and I tore the house APART looking for it. There in a pile of paperwork (that I had kept on the counter for a reason and dad had put with other paperwork UNDER the china cabinet) was a prescription. I got very excited, until Dad nicely pointed out that the prescription I found said, "Do not fill until 7/30/14".
So, of course, being the good mother I am, I went BACK into panic mode.
Me: "How could it be missing?? It would HAVE to be with this prescription because I kept them together!! Did you check..."
Dad: "Yes"
Me: "Well, did you look in..."
Dad:" Of course I did!"
A few minutes of this goes past with me never finishing a sentence and him always replying that yes, of course he looked where ever he thought I was about to say....UNTIL...
Dad: "Oh, wait a minute. Didn't I drop that off a while back?"
Me: "The pharmacy said they didn't have it on file"
Dad: "I am going to call them"
Me: "I was JUST there, they don't have it!"
Dad: (on the phone) "You do have it? You filled it on July first? GREAT! I will be right down to get it!"
Me: "WOOHOO!!! Wait...then WHY did they say they didn't have it??"
Dad: "Because they didn't have it in the file, they had already filled it."
Me: "It would have saved ALOT of time if they had checked that when I was there 45 minutes ago....or, ya know..if you have REMEMBERED that you had already dropped it off....just sayin"
Dad: "Don't"
Me: "Don't what?"
Dad: "Don't be just sayin"
Me: "ok...LET'S GO!!"
That was only the most recent adventure of course.....
On Monday, Banana asked for paper, a pencil and some tape. I gave her all three. An hour later she comes to me and says, "Mommy, come look". I followed her, and there on her door is a sign she has written (mostly correctly) stating, "No Dogs Aalfkjad In My Room".
Me: "Great Job Banana! The only problem is that it is too high up on your door, the dogs can't read it all the way up there"
Banana: "Oh yeah"
So she moved it down......hehee
On Tuesday....As I'm getting ready for work...Banana says something to me about peanut butter and ceiling fans...I quite honestly wasn't totally paying attention but DO recall saying that it probably was not a good idea. I also recall her giving me a funny look, which I did not put much thought into.
I left for work, Banana left for Grammy's house. I arrive home from work to Dad saying, "You are NEVER going to believe what YOUR daughter did" (Notice she is MY daughter when she is in trouble). He brings me into Banana's room where he shows me globs and spirals of peanut butter all around her room on her walls.
SURE ENOUGH....My intelligent artful child had figured out that if you spread peanut butter onto the blades of the ceiling fan and turn the fan ON, it flings peanut butter around the room making beautiful art work on the walls!!! Then to COVER IT UP, she put very colorful socks OVER the blades of the ceiling fan so we wouldn't see what she had done. I thought it was quite intelligent and was highly amused. Dad was not amused at all as he cleaned off the peanut butter and nearly blinded himself with cleaning fluid (NOTE: When spraying cleaning fluid onto a ceiling fan, DO NOT stand under it and look up!!).
I then had to go to work and share what my wonderfully intelligent artful child had done, EVERYONE EXCEPT DAD is highly amused.
Banana comes home from Grammy's today....I can't WAIT to see what the rest of this week brings!!!
I'm glad I'm not a rabbit, think of all the fun I'd be missing right now!
I went into panic mode as I couldn't find the prescription. Her dad and I looked everywhere we could possibly think of...it was nowhere to be found. So sitting at work yesterday, it occurred to me since the prescription had been written ahead of time, I PROBABLY had dropped it off at the pharmacy and asked them to hold it on file...so I wouldn't lose it. After work I went to the pharmacy....nope, no prescription on file (but they did give me the wrong meds for Bubba). Back home I went where Dad and I tore the house APART looking for it. There in a pile of paperwork (that I had kept on the counter for a reason and dad had put with other paperwork UNDER the china cabinet) was a prescription. I got very excited, until Dad nicely pointed out that the prescription I found said, "Do not fill until 7/30/14".
So, of course, being the good mother I am, I went BACK into panic mode.
Me: "How could it be missing?? It would HAVE to be with this prescription because I kept them together!! Did you check..."
Dad: "Yes"
Me: "Well, did you look in..."
Dad:" Of course I did!"
A few minutes of this goes past with me never finishing a sentence and him always replying that yes, of course he looked where ever he thought I was about to say....UNTIL...
Dad: "Oh, wait a minute. Didn't I drop that off a while back?"
Me: "The pharmacy said they didn't have it on file"
Dad: "I am going to call them"
Me: "I was JUST there, they don't have it!"
Dad: (on the phone) "You do have it? You filled it on July first? GREAT! I will be right down to get it!"
Me: "WOOHOO!!! Wait...then WHY did they say they didn't have it??"
Dad: "Because they didn't have it in the file, they had already filled it."
Me: "It would have saved ALOT of time if they had checked that when I was there 45 minutes ago....or, ya know..if you have REMEMBERED that you had already dropped it off....just sayin"
Dad: "Don't"
Me: "Don't what?"
Dad: "Don't be just sayin"
Me: "ok...LET'S GO!!"
That was only the most recent adventure of course.....
On Monday, Banana asked for paper, a pencil and some tape. I gave her all three. An hour later she comes to me and says, "Mommy, come look". I followed her, and there on her door is a sign she has written (mostly correctly) stating, "No Dogs Aalfkjad In My Room".
Me: "Great Job Banana! The only problem is that it is too high up on your door, the dogs can't read it all the way up there"
Banana: "Oh yeah"
So she moved it down......hehee
On Tuesday....As I'm getting ready for work...Banana says something to me about peanut butter and ceiling fans...I quite honestly wasn't totally paying attention but DO recall saying that it probably was not a good idea. I also recall her giving me a funny look, which I did not put much thought into.
I left for work, Banana left for Grammy's house. I arrive home from work to Dad saying, "You are NEVER going to believe what YOUR daughter did" (Notice she is MY daughter when she is in trouble). He brings me into Banana's room where he shows me globs and spirals of peanut butter all around her room on her walls.
SURE ENOUGH....My intelligent artful child had figured out that if you spread peanut butter onto the blades of the ceiling fan and turn the fan ON, it flings peanut butter around the room making beautiful art work on the walls!!! Then to COVER IT UP, she put very colorful socks OVER the blades of the ceiling fan so we wouldn't see what she had done. I thought it was quite intelligent and was highly amused. Dad was not amused at all as he cleaned off the peanut butter and nearly blinded himself with cleaning fluid (NOTE: When spraying cleaning fluid onto a ceiling fan, DO NOT stand under it and look up!!).
I then had to go to work and share what my wonderfully intelligent artful child had done, EVERYONE EXCEPT DAD is highly amused.
Banana comes home from Grammy's today....I can't WAIT to see what the rest of this week brings!!!
I'm glad I'm not a rabbit, think of all the fun I'd be missing right now!
Friday, June 13, 2014
I torture my children
At least they say I torture them. It's not REALLY torture, I don't tie them up or use tools of destruction (not that I haven't been tempted). It's more the type of torture where you make a dog sit, put a treat on his nose...and wait. I suppose if you are a dog, that is torture. But eventually you always get the treat.
Bubba ran away the other day. He argued with his dad about chores and computer time. After deciding our rules were stupid, and yes, torture, he took off. Speaking of torture...I spent THREE hours looking for him...
On the verge of calling the police, I finally found him...headed home. I pulled the car over and motioned for him to get in. He rolled his eyes, put his scooter in the back seat, and got in the front. I decided, I was going to REALLY torture him...so, I said nothing.
Ten minutes went by in total silence. He was fidgeting in the seat, and glancing sideways at me until he couldn't stand it anymore and finally said, "Sooooo, you gonna say anything?"
I decided to prolong my torture awhile, and waited a full five minutes before finally saying, "The next time you decide to run away, would you please leave me a note telling me where you will be going so I don't worry and call the police?"
Quite frankly, I can't even put into words the look he gave me, and I am rarely at a lack for words! It took him three hours before he came back to me and said, "Doesn't leaving you a note telling you where I'm going defeat the purpose of running away?"
Me: "Didn't I find you headed back home?"
Bubba: "Well, yeah"
Me: "Then you weren't running away"
Bubba: "Well, I thought about it"
Me: "Well, oddly, it's NOT always the 'thought' that counts".
Bubba: "Bummer"
Then I sent him to bed, with no desert...I know, I know I torture my children SO MUCH!!!
Wait til he has kids who wake up in the middle of the night, have explosive diarrhea in their diapers, and projectile vomit after every feeding. and then eventually learn to walk and speak and turn into teenagers...now THAT is torture!!
I also torture my dogs...though, I agree, in this case, it may have been torture. We have a light above our kitchen sink, that when turned on with no other lights on, will produce shadows. Daisy made a new friend this morning...I called it "Daisy's Shadow". She spent quite a bit of time playing with it. Until I turned on the overhead light in the kitchen and Shadow disappeared. Daisy looked all over.
Watching this take place, and finding it quite comical, I admittedly began to torture Daisy, as I began turning the overhead light on and off watching her get excited to see her Shadow and then disappointed as she tried to find it....hehee
However, in my opinion, this was slightly deserved as Miss Daisy woke ME up at 5:30am this morning because she couldn't hold her bladder.
I was just getting even...
Bubba ran away the other day. He argued with his dad about chores and computer time. After deciding our rules were stupid, and yes, torture, he took off. Speaking of torture...I spent THREE hours looking for him...
On the verge of calling the police, I finally found him...headed home. I pulled the car over and motioned for him to get in. He rolled his eyes, put his scooter in the back seat, and got in the front. I decided, I was going to REALLY torture him...so, I said nothing.
Ten minutes went by in total silence. He was fidgeting in the seat, and glancing sideways at me until he couldn't stand it anymore and finally said, "Sooooo, you gonna say anything?"
I decided to prolong my torture awhile, and waited a full five minutes before finally saying, "The next time you decide to run away, would you please leave me a note telling me where you will be going so I don't worry and call the police?"
Quite frankly, I can't even put into words the look he gave me, and I am rarely at a lack for words! It took him three hours before he came back to me and said, "Doesn't leaving you a note telling you where I'm going defeat the purpose of running away?"
Me: "Didn't I find you headed back home?"
Bubba: "Well, yeah"
Me: "Then you weren't running away"
Bubba: "Well, I thought about it"
Me: "Well, oddly, it's NOT always the 'thought' that counts".
Bubba: "Bummer"
Then I sent him to bed, with no desert...I know, I know I torture my children SO MUCH!!!
Wait til he has kids who wake up in the middle of the night, have explosive diarrhea in their diapers, and projectile vomit after every feeding. and then eventually learn to walk and speak and turn into teenagers...now THAT is torture!!
I also torture my dogs...though, I agree, in this case, it may have been torture. We have a light above our kitchen sink, that when turned on with no other lights on, will produce shadows. Daisy made a new friend this morning...I called it "Daisy's Shadow". She spent quite a bit of time playing with it. Until I turned on the overhead light in the kitchen and Shadow disappeared. Daisy looked all over.
Watching this take place, and finding it quite comical, I admittedly began to torture Daisy, as I began turning the overhead light on and off watching her get excited to see her Shadow and then disappointed as she tried to find it....hehee
However, in my opinion, this was slightly deserved as Miss Daisy woke ME up at 5:30am this morning because she couldn't hold her bladder.
I was just getting even...
Friday, June 6, 2014
Children Have No Filter
I was dressing this morning for an important meeting in which I will run into several people who I want to/need to impress. Though, quite frankly, I'm pretty sure that I have already impressed the important ones.
After dressing, putting shoes on, brushing teeth and hair, I went straight to the top to get their opinion on how I looked....my kids.
Me: "Do I look ok?"
Bubba: "Wow, Mom! You look GREAT!"
Banana: "You look fat"
Bubba: "Ban, that's NOT nice! You don't tell old people they are fat"
Really?? HAHA!
My children do not have filters. As an adult, I can choose to turn mine on and off. So while I WANTED to say:
"I may be fat but your ugly and I can lose weight but you will ALWAYS be ugly"....
I did not....for three reasons.
1. It's not true...Banana is super cute.
2. She is six (almost 7 as she frequently reminds me)
3. I chose to use my filter....and instead replied.
"Banana, it's not nice to tell people they are fat, and Bubba I am NOT old!"
They began their breakfast. Banana insists she knows everything and began giving us math problems to solve.
Banana: "What's 1+0?"
Bubba: "1, give me a hard one!"
Banana: "What's 60 +18?"
Me: "88"
Bubba:"78, Mom clearly doesn't understand numbers"
Me: "I was a psych major"\
Bubba: "Banana, what is 2x+4=18?"
Banana: "That's not math"
Bubba: "Yes, it is, it's geometry"
Me: "No, it's algebra"
Bubba: "Oh yeah, but you can't possibly KNOW that...YOU were a Psych major!"
HAHAHA! Get on the bus!
Anyway, I chose to stay dressed despite looking Great and Fat...and apparently old.
However, despite the lack of filters...I am glad I am not a rabbit, because I enjoyed this chat with the children this morning!
After dressing, putting shoes on, brushing teeth and hair, I went straight to the top to get their opinion on how I looked....my kids.
Me: "Do I look ok?"
Bubba: "Wow, Mom! You look GREAT!"
Banana: "You look fat"
Bubba: "Ban, that's NOT nice! You don't tell old people they are fat"
Really?? HAHA!
My children do not have filters. As an adult, I can choose to turn mine on and off. So while I WANTED to say:
"I may be fat but your ugly and I can lose weight but you will ALWAYS be ugly"....
I did not....for three reasons.
1. It's not true...Banana is super cute.
2. She is six (almost 7 as she frequently reminds me)
3. I chose to use my filter....and instead replied.
"Banana, it's not nice to tell people they are fat, and Bubba I am NOT old!"
They began their breakfast. Banana insists she knows everything and began giving us math problems to solve.
Banana: "What's 1+0?"
Bubba: "1, give me a hard one!"
Banana: "What's 60 +18?"
Me: "88"
Bubba:"78, Mom clearly doesn't understand numbers"
Me: "I was a psych major"\
Bubba: "Banana, what is 2x+4=18?"
Banana: "That's not math"
Bubba: "Yes, it is, it's geometry"
Me: "No, it's algebra"
Bubba: "Oh yeah, but you can't possibly KNOW that...YOU were a Psych major!"
HAHAHA! Get on the bus!
Anyway, I chose to stay dressed despite looking Great and Fat...and apparently old.
However, despite the lack of filters...I am glad I am not a rabbit, because I enjoyed this chat with the children this morning!
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Auschwitz
It's been some time since I last wrote a blog...and I'm getting "hints" that it's about time I do. However, I told Kitten last night that I had nothing funny to blog about. That, I have since realized, is a LIE. Sorry Kitten. I just had to sit back and think about it a bit to realize that some of what has gone on is actually quite funny.
Bubba has a new "rule" in which he must work for his computer time. He hates this rule, which, by nature means of course that I LOVE IT! He has a list of about 20 chores he can choose from, each chore worth a certain amount of time on the computer. So, it is entirely up to him if he gets 10 minutes or six hours on the computer. I also love this "rule" because I came up with it! I often get emails from the school stating that "Your son did not get his homework done because he said he was doing chores ALL night"...hehe. This of course means that Bubba did enough chores to get 2 hours on the computer and chose to do that instead of his homework.
Bubba began throwing a bit of a temper tantrum the other day. He got up and got ready for school early and then spent 1 1/2 hours on the computer thinking I wouldn't know. I knew...I'm mom, therefore I know EVERYTHING (or so I'd like to believe). When Bubba got home from school I told him that he had to do 1 1/2 hours of chores to make up for the computer time he had already used. He yelled, "THIS PLACE IS LIKE LIVING IN AUSCHWITZ ALL OVER AGAIN!" Then left the house and went to hide in his secret fort (which isn't so secret). I, on the other hand, sat straight up with a cocked head...you know the cocked head that a dog does when they are being cute. I'm not sure I was as cute as the dog, however, I have discovered a cocked head helps me think clearer...go figure. So, I sat with my cocked head and had a think.
Thoughts:
1) Apparently, Bubba is learning about WWII and concentration camps in school. Well, that's good, at least he is clearly interested in the subject.
2) Again? I don't recall you being alive during WWII? Is there something I need to know??
3) Am I the only one that gets the irony of Bubba saying this house is like a concentration camp when I have two ADHD kids who can't concentrate for more than 2 seconds if their lives depended on it?
Banana, overhearing Bubba's yelling decided to have her own thoughts....out loud.
Banana: "I have one question"
Me: "I have one answer"
Banana: "What's an Osk Twitch?"
Me: (distracted by my cocked head thinking), "HUH??"
Banana: "What Bubba just said, as Osk Twitch"
Me: (still distracted): "A large flightless bird that is fabled to hide it's head in the sand when it's scared".
Banana: "Bubba lived in a bird?"
Me (done with my thought): "What are you talking about??"
Banana: "That think Bubba said that you said is a bird that lies and hides in the sand"
Me: "Oh, I'm pretty sure that isn't exactly what I said, but Bubba was talking about Auschwitz"
Banana: "I have one question"
I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you what her one question was, however, it lead to a 6 year old leveled conversation about concentration camps.
Banana: "I like camp"
Me: "You've never been to camp"
Banana: "Yes I have, last week at Grammy's house I went to camp"
Me: "No, you didn't"
Banana: "Yes, I did, Grammy took me there and it was FAR FAR away"
Me: "What did you do there?"
Banana: "I don't remember"
Five minutes later:
Banana: "I have one question"
Me: "I have one answer"
Banana: "What is camp and what do people do there?"
Me: "They pretend to be Osk Twitches and hide their heads in the sand"
Banana: "I don't want to go there.
Me: "You went there remember...last week, at Grammy's house."
Banana: "I'm innoring you" (Translation: Ignoring)
Banana has had issues this past week in her own little world. She was suspended from school again.
I received a call on Tuesday that she was being kicked off the bus for that day and the following day. Apparently, throwing a full water bottle at the bus driver WHILE he is driving is a bad idea and gets you kicked off the bus for a day or so.
I called her Dad to pick her up from school. Later, I got a call from Dad.
Dad: "Banana was suspended"
Me: "What did she do now and for how long?"
Dad: "One day. She slapped her teacher"
Me: "Why did she do that?"
Dad: "Why would you ask me that?"
Me: "Good question, never mind."
As it turns out, apparently Banana at LEAST gave a warning first. "I'm going to slap you", and then did. I'm pretty sure I got the cocked head again.....
Thoughts:
1)If you know a child that makes threats follows through on her threats and said child threatens to slap you, why would you not move your face away from her slapping reach?
2) Ok, suspended, no tv, and in her room for the day
3)I wonder why she slapped her?
4) I suppose it doesn't matter, because it's wrong
5) Tomorrow is going to be a long day for Dad...I'm glad I have to go to work.
6) Wow, I haven't been happy to go to work in some time now...huh
7) Why couldn't I have been a rabbit?
Bubba has a new "rule" in which he must work for his computer time. He hates this rule, which, by nature means of course that I LOVE IT! He has a list of about 20 chores he can choose from, each chore worth a certain amount of time on the computer. So, it is entirely up to him if he gets 10 minutes or six hours on the computer. I also love this "rule" because I came up with it! I often get emails from the school stating that "Your son did not get his homework done because he said he was doing chores ALL night"...hehe. This of course means that Bubba did enough chores to get 2 hours on the computer and chose to do that instead of his homework.
Bubba began throwing a bit of a temper tantrum the other day. He got up and got ready for school early and then spent 1 1/2 hours on the computer thinking I wouldn't know. I knew...I'm mom, therefore I know EVERYTHING (or so I'd like to believe). When Bubba got home from school I told him that he had to do 1 1/2 hours of chores to make up for the computer time he had already used. He yelled, "THIS PLACE IS LIKE LIVING IN AUSCHWITZ ALL OVER AGAIN!" Then left the house and went to hide in his secret fort (which isn't so secret). I, on the other hand, sat straight up with a cocked head...you know the cocked head that a dog does when they are being cute. I'm not sure I was as cute as the dog, however, I have discovered a cocked head helps me think clearer...go figure. So, I sat with my cocked head and had a think.
Thoughts:
1) Apparently, Bubba is learning about WWII and concentration camps in school. Well, that's good, at least he is clearly interested in the subject.
2) Again? I don't recall you being alive during WWII? Is there something I need to know??
3) Am I the only one that gets the irony of Bubba saying this house is like a concentration camp when I have two ADHD kids who can't concentrate for more than 2 seconds if their lives depended on it?
Banana, overhearing Bubba's yelling decided to have her own thoughts....out loud.
Banana: "I have one question"
Me: "I have one answer"
Banana: "What's an Osk Twitch?"
Me: (distracted by my cocked head thinking), "HUH??"
Banana: "What Bubba just said, as Osk Twitch"
Me: (still distracted): "A large flightless bird that is fabled to hide it's head in the sand when it's scared".
Banana: "Bubba lived in a bird?"
Me (done with my thought): "What are you talking about??"
Banana: "That think Bubba said that you said is a bird that lies and hides in the sand"
Me: "Oh, I'm pretty sure that isn't exactly what I said, but Bubba was talking about Auschwitz"
Banana: "I have one question"
I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you what her one question was, however, it lead to a 6 year old leveled conversation about concentration camps.
Banana: "I like camp"
Me: "You've never been to camp"
Banana: "Yes I have, last week at Grammy's house I went to camp"
Me: "No, you didn't"
Banana: "Yes, I did, Grammy took me there and it was FAR FAR away"
Me: "What did you do there?"
Banana: "I don't remember"
Five minutes later:
Banana: "I have one question"
Me: "I have one answer"
Banana: "What is camp and what do people do there?"
Me: "They pretend to be Osk Twitches and hide their heads in the sand"
Banana: "I don't want to go there.
Me: "You went there remember...last week, at Grammy's house."
Banana: "I'm innoring you" (Translation: Ignoring)
Banana has had issues this past week in her own little world. She was suspended from school again.
I received a call on Tuesday that she was being kicked off the bus for that day and the following day. Apparently, throwing a full water bottle at the bus driver WHILE he is driving is a bad idea and gets you kicked off the bus for a day or so.
I called her Dad to pick her up from school. Later, I got a call from Dad.
Dad: "Banana was suspended"
Me: "What did she do now and for how long?"
Dad: "One day. She slapped her teacher"
Me: "Why did she do that?"
Dad: "Why would you ask me that?"
Me: "Good question, never mind."
As it turns out, apparently Banana at LEAST gave a warning first. "I'm going to slap you", and then did. I'm pretty sure I got the cocked head again.....
Thoughts:
1)If you know a child that makes threats follows through on her threats and said child threatens to slap you, why would you not move your face away from her slapping reach?
2) Ok, suspended, no tv, and in her room for the day
3)I wonder why she slapped her?
4) I suppose it doesn't matter, because it's wrong
5) Tomorrow is going to be a long day for Dad...I'm glad I have to go to work.
6) Wow, I haven't been happy to go to work in some time now...huh
7) Why couldn't I have been a rabbit?
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Training Bras, Stress, Loving Children and Clowns
So over the past month I've been having a really difficult time, which means the last thing I wanted to do was sit and write a blog. However, after several comments on how I "NEEDED" to "write a blog Mommy" I decided I had better do so!
Banana came home from Grammy's with a training bra on today. Have I mentioned she is SIX? This child doesn't NEED a training bra! She refuses to take it off however. So she is currently sleeping in her bed in her "bra and panties". *sigh*
So, as I said, I've been having a difficult time this week. The word "stress" doesn't quite do it justice. I know I'm stressed because in the past week I've"
Banana, not to be outdone, asked if she had made me cry. I told her she had not and that I had just had a really rough day at work. She looked at me with all seriousness, hands on her little hips and says, "WHO needs a spanking??"
I did receive a lovely bouquet of flowers this week from a former intern...which also made me cry, but not out of sadness. Not happiness exactly either, but more relief that someone out there understands and supports me. I know my *girls* at work support me, but it's still a nice reminder that I'm doing the right thing. I forget sometimes that I can't save the world, I need those little reminders that what I'm doing is good.
Bubba has been grounded from the computer for quite some time and his attitude has improved greatly. Several times a day he come out of his room simply to give me a hug and tell me he loves me. I love him so much! He is such a great kid!
As for the title of Clowns. When I was 5-ish, my mom came home with her first perm. I remember very clearly crying and telling her she looked like a clown (I'm sorry Mom!!). This story came to mind as I sat in the chair at the hair salon last week, getting my hair done "clown" style. All I could think is, "after crying that my mom looked like a clown, here I sit...making myself look like a clown". It actually came out nice.
Banana came home from Grammy's with a training bra on today. Have I mentioned she is SIX? This child doesn't NEED a training bra! She refuses to take it off however. So she is currently sleeping in her bed in her "bra and panties". *sigh*
So, as I said, I've been having a difficult time this week. The word "stress" doesn't quite do it justice. I know I'm stressed because in the past week I've"
- Started the wash and forgot to put the laundry in
- Walked around the office for 10 minutes looking for my keys only to find them in my hand
- Put Bubba's laundry away in Banana's room and Banana's in mine
- Stood at the counter today lecturing everyone in the house about how my cell phone belongs to my work and whoever took it needs to find it IMMEDIATELY...only to look down and see it directly in front of me, on the charger
- Put the milk in the freezer and the ice cubes in the fridge
- Lost my coffee...also in my hand
- Walked around the house for an hour trying to figure out why my feet felt odd, only to discover I had two different slippers on...AND on the wrong feet.
- Put dog food in a bowl with milk and tried to feed it to Banana for breakfast
Banana, not to be outdone, asked if she had made me cry. I told her she had not and that I had just had a really rough day at work. She looked at me with all seriousness, hands on her little hips and says, "WHO needs a spanking??"
I did receive a lovely bouquet of flowers this week from a former intern...which also made me cry, but not out of sadness. Not happiness exactly either, but more relief that someone out there understands and supports me. I know my *girls* at work support me, but it's still a nice reminder that I'm doing the right thing. I forget sometimes that I can't save the world, I need those little reminders that what I'm doing is good.
Bubba has been grounded from the computer for quite some time and his attitude has improved greatly. Several times a day he come out of his room simply to give me a hug and tell me he loves me. I love him so much! He is such a great kid!
As for the title of Clowns. When I was 5-ish, my mom came home with her first perm. I remember very clearly crying and telling her she looked like a clown (I'm sorry Mom!!). This story came to mind as I sat in the chair at the hair salon last week, getting my hair done "clown" style. All I could think is, "after crying that my mom looked like a clown, here I sit...making myself look like a clown". It actually came out nice.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Sponges
Ok, I realize that "sponges" is not a very exciting title for a blog....but that's the only thing I could come up with on 1/4 cup of coffee.
We often say Children's brains are like sponges. They absorb everything. Funny, cuz when we are adults and end up with a spongy brain we are diagnosed with "Mad Cow Disease" (not the scientific name, but you get what I mean). So, WHY do we want children to have spongy brains?
I think they have spongy ears. I am always amazed at the things they hear that they shouldn't hear. Perhaps it's more of a selective sponge.
Bubba: "WOOHOO! PIZZA FOR DINNER!!"
Me: "Who said?"
Bubba: "You just whispered it to Dad."
Me: "Two seconds ago I was standing right beside you and told you to do your chores but you didn't hear that! NOW you hear me whispering to dad in the other room??"
Bubba: "When did you tell me to do my chores?"
Me, repeating my new daily mantra: "Don't kill anyone today, don't kill anyone today..."
In the meantime, Banana loves school. I'm not sure exactly why. She spends a chunk of the day on the phone calling me at which point I remind her to behave and work hard. "Ok, Mom", she always replies.
Shortly after that phone call from Banana the other day the school Principal called me. Apparently, my little spongy head FORGOT that she had said, "OK Mom" just a few short minutes before. Part of the problem with sponges is that they dry out and everything that was absorbed is gone and all that is left behind is yucky stuff. So apparently, Banana was left with a yucky stuff brain that day.
Principal: "Banana is sitting like a rock on the floor and refuses to do anything. Usually if we tell her we are going to call Mom it works to get her moving. It didn't work this time, so we are calling you"
Me (in my head wondering what exactly I'm supposed to do about it when I'm at work 20 minutes away): "Ok, let me talk to her"
Banana: "Hi Mom!"
Me: "I thought I just told you to work hard and you said you would"
Banana: "I changed my mind"
Me: "That isn't an option."
Banana: "But I don't WANT to"
Me: "You are at school to learn and I expect you to go DO that. Do I have to come out there? Because if I have to come to your school YOU will not like the consequences"
Banana: "No"
Me: "So, you are going to go work hard now"
Banana: "BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!"
Me: "Banana, I am NOT giving you a choice. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THE FLOOR AND GO WORK HARD!!!"
Banana:" FINE, MOM!!" followed by slamming down of the phone as she hangs up on me.
I didn't receive another phone call that day.
When cows have spongy brains they put them down. If I put my children down for having spongy brains I'd get time in a place I would not be happy to be in...I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like the food or the company.
Do rabbits get spongy brains?
We often say Children's brains are like sponges. They absorb everything. Funny, cuz when we are adults and end up with a spongy brain we are diagnosed with "Mad Cow Disease" (not the scientific name, but you get what I mean). So, WHY do we want children to have spongy brains?
I think they have spongy ears. I am always amazed at the things they hear that they shouldn't hear. Perhaps it's more of a selective sponge.
Bubba: "WOOHOO! PIZZA FOR DINNER!!"
Me: "Who said?"
Bubba: "You just whispered it to Dad."
Me: "Two seconds ago I was standing right beside you and told you to do your chores but you didn't hear that! NOW you hear me whispering to dad in the other room??"
Bubba: "When did you tell me to do my chores?"
Me, repeating my new daily mantra: "Don't kill anyone today, don't kill anyone today..."
In the meantime, Banana loves school. I'm not sure exactly why. She spends a chunk of the day on the phone calling me at which point I remind her to behave and work hard. "Ok, Mom", she always replies.
Shortly after that phone call from Banana the other day the school Principal called me. Apparently, my little spongy head FORGOT that she had said, "OK Mom" just a few short minutes before. Part of the problem with sponges is that they dry out and everything that was absorbed is gone and all that is left behind is yucky stuff. So apparently, Banana was left with a yucky stuff brain that day.
Principal: "Banana is sitting like a rock on the floor and refuses to do anything. Usually if we tell her we are going to call Mom it works to get her moving. It didn't work this time, so we are calling you"
Me (in my head wondering what exactly I'm supposed to do about it when I'm at work 20 minutes away): "Ok, let me talk to her"
Banana: "Hi Mom!"
Me: "I thought I just told you to work hard and you said you would"
Banana: "I changed my mind"
Me: "That isn't an option."
Banana: "But I don't WANT to"
Me: "You are at school to learn and I expect you to go DO that. Do I have to come out there? Because if I have to come to your school YOU will not like the consequences"
Banana: "No"
Me: "So, you are going to go work hard now"
Banana: "BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!"
Me: "Banana, I am NOT giving you a choice. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THE FLOOR AND GO WORK HARD!!!"
Banana:" FINE, MOM!!" followed by slamming down of the phone as she hangs up on me.
I didn't receive another phone call that day.
When cows have spongy brains they put them down. If I put my children down for having spongy brains I'd get time in a place I would not be happy to be in...I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like the food or the company.
Do rabbits get spongy brains?
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Pink Elephants
It's difficult working with a child who does not have the ability to recognize the difference between "real" and "pretend". I happen to have TWO of them.
Bubba believes anything he reads on the computer is "real". At 14, he also believes his parents are idiots...this makes for an interesting combination.
Me:"How do you KNOW she is a 14 year old girl living in New York?"
Bubba: "Cuz she told me she was"
Me: "Bubba, ANYONE can say ANYTHING on the computer, that does NOT make it real!"
Bubba: "Well, she is cuz she showed me some pictures"
Me:" Do you realize how easy it is to send pictures on a computer that are not yours? You could grab any picture off the web and say its you"
Bubba: "Well, that's stupid, why would I do that?"
Me:" I'm not saying YOU would do it, but it can be done. You could be talking to a 70 year old male who "likes" young boys and you wouldn't know it."
Bubba: "Well, clearly, the picture would be of a 70 yr. old man then"
Me:"He could take pictures of his granddaughter and send them to you and say its him"
Bubba: "No, she is a 14 year old girl. I know it."
*Sigh*
Banana's confusing is a little simpler, but no less easy to explain. This morning she was watching tv.
Banana: "I didn't know there are pink elephants"
Me: "There aren't"
Banana: "Yes there are, it's on tv"
Me: "That's a cartoon, it's not real"
Banana (giving me a funny look): "It's right there!"
Me: "Banana, cartoons are drawings, they are not real"
Banana: "My drawings don't move"
Me: "The people that make the tv shows draw ALOT of pictures then use a camera to take pictures of them and make them move fast."
I demonstrate a flip book with a stick figure.
Banana: "But where is the pink elephant"
Me: "I can't draw a pink elephant"
Banana: "But it's on the tv"
Me: "I didn't draw the one on the tv"
Banana; "Oh"
Five minutes later,
Banana: "But where do pink elephants COME from?"
Me: "Pink elephant mommies in Australia"
I know that in a few years I will look back and laugh at this....but for now....I wish I was a rabbit.
Bubba believes anything he reads on the computer is "real". At 14, he also believes his parents are idiots...this makes for an interesting combination.
Me:"How do you KNOW she is a 14 year old girl living in New York?"
Bubba: "Cuz she told me she was"
Me: "Bubba, ANYONE can say ANYTHING on the computer, that does NOT make it real!"
Bubba: "Well, she is cuz she showed me some pictures"
Me:" Do you realize how easy it is to send pictures on a computer that are not yours? You could grab any picture off the web and say its you"
Bubba: "Well, that's stupid, why would I do that?"
Me:" I'm not saying YOU would do it, but it can be done. You could be talking to a 70 year old male who "likes" young boys and you wouldn't know it."
Bubba: "Well, clearly, the picture would be of a 70 yr. old man then"
Me:"He could take pictures of his granddaughter and send them to you and say its him"
Bubba: "No, she is a 14 year old girl. I know it."
*Sigh*
Banana's confusing is a little simpler, but no less easy to explain. This morning she was watching tv.
Banana: "I didn't know there are pink elephants"
Me: "There aren't"
Banana: "Yes there are, it's on tv"
Me: "That's a cartoon, it's not real"
Banana (giving me a funny look): "It's right there!"
Me: "Banana, cartoons are drawings, they are not real"
Banana: "My drawings don't move"
Me: "The people that make the tv shows draw ALOT of pictures then use a camera to take pictures of them and make them move fast."
I demonstrate a flip book with a stick figure.
Banana: "But where is the pink elephant"
Me: "I can't draw a pink elephant"
Banana: "But it's on the tv"
Me: "I didn't draw the one on the tv"
Banana; "Oh"
Five minutes later,
Banana: "But where do pink elephants COME from?"
Me: "Pink elephant mommies in Australia"
I know that in a few years I will look back and laugh at this....but for now....I wish I was a rabbit.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Older Children
I thought I'd start the new year out right...with a blog! My oldest two children enjoy following my blog...probably because it isn't about them. So, I thought this one would be about them. The New Year is a year of reflection for me...and boy, do I have a lot to reflect on!
Lizard is my oldest. She started life struggling but has grown to be a beautiful, intelligent young woman (who has given me a grandson!). She was always bright....to smart for her own good really. She joined the Army at 17 (It's ok, I signed the papers). She left for boot camp August 3rd, 2010, Banana's 3rd birthday. Lizard was my rock, I cried for three months after she left. Lizard is also my answer to every unsolvable math problem....("I don't know, Skype your sister!"). Lizard was a born leader.
Cat is my second oldest. Born exactly 15 months after Lizard. Also, beautiful and intelligent! She is still close to home, living with her boyfriend Don Juan, who I also adore. Had they been born in reverse things probably would have been different. However, Cat had no issues with Lizard being the leader....except for a frequently sore bottom, until I figured it out. The two of them were the "Wonder Twins" when they were younger...they made me "wonder" A LOT!
Cat often tells me I should of had her first...and then stopped. Looking back, I can see why she might have wanted that. Cat was a cuddle bug while Lizard was Miss Independent. Cat was a follower, especially of Lizard whom she worshipped until she realized that worshipping Lizard got her in trouble!
The girls, together, were highly creative. They loved to finger-paint...preferably on their walls....with poop. They didn't love to get spankings and clean it up...but they finger-painted on a daily basis for quite some time anyway. Apparently, the painting was enjoyable enough that putting up with the spanking was worth it. Oh, and if you are wondering, apparently apple peels don't get digested and therefore they are edible the second time around.....
My brilliant girls discovered for me, that raw eggs fit down vacuum cleaner hoses. I did not know this. It is fun rolling eggs down through the vacuum cleaner hose onto the floor and watching them crack all over the new carpet. I was extremely impressed! (Note: It is not fun cleaning raw egg out of carpet!).
They also discovered that pickle sandwiches with parmesan cheese make for a great breakfast. I quickly started putting containers together with yogurt, cereal and a pickle on the side (I left off the parmesan cheese)....I hate pickles, they make me gag. They got their love for pickles from their dad, I blamed him for this one.
My girls have been my biggest supporters. When I decided to go back to school and get my bachelor's and then my master's degrees, they cheered me on. They have both since told me how proud they are of me, and how much of an inspiration I was for them. If you haven't been told by your children that you have inspired them...I can assure you, it is the best feeling ever....there are no words to describe what that is like.
When I chose to adopt Banana both girls backed me 110%. They, like me, didn't give a second thought to how she came to be in our lives, Banana was their sister, from day one. They loved her as much as I did. Besides, babies are fun..even babies born with drug addiction. Both of the girls assisted me whenever they could with Banana...changing diapers, feeding her, taking lots and lots of pictures, playing with her. Banana was the BEST toy ever...and also a good advertisement for birth control to two teenage girls!
Sometimes, I miss those days...though, not cleaning poop off the walls (I'm pretty sure the Army is glad I broke Lizard of that as well). I'm glad I wasn't a rabbit then.
Lizard is my oldest. She started life struggling but has grown to be a beautiful, intelligent young woman (who has given me a grandson!). She was always bright....to smart for her own good really. She joined the Army at 17 (It's ok, I signed the papers). She left for boot camp August 3rd, 2010, Banana's 3rd birthday. Lizard was my rock, I cried for three months after she left. Lizard is also my answer to every unsolvable math problem....("I don't know, Skype your sister!"). Lizard was a born leader.
Cat is my second oldest. Born exactly 15 months after Lizard. Also, beautiful and intelligent! She is still close to home, living with her boyfriend Don Juan, who I also adore. Had they been born in reverse things probably would have been different. However, Cat had no issues with Lizard being the leader....except for a frequently sore bottom, until I figured it out. The two of them were the "Wonder Twins" when they were younger...they made me "wonder" A LOT!
Cat often tells me I should of had her first...and then stopped. Looking back, I can see why she might have wanted that. Cat was a cuddle bug while Lizard was Miss Independent. Cat was a follower, especially of Lizard whom she worshipped until she realized that worshipping Lizard got her in trouble!
The girls, together, were highly creative. They loved to finger-paint...preferably on their walls....with poop. They didn't love to get spankings and clean it up...but they finger-painted on a daily basis for quite some time anyway. Apparently, the painting was enjoyable enough that putting up with the spanking was worth it. Oh, and if you are wondering, apparently apple peels don't get digested and therefore they are edible the second time around.....
My brilliant girls discovered for me, that raw eggs fit down vacuum cleaner hoses. I did not know this. It is fun rolling eggs down through the vacuum cleaner hose onto the floor and watching them crack all over the new carpet. I was extremely impressed! (Note: It is not fun cleaning raw egg out of carpet!).
They also discovered that pickle sandwiches with parmesan cheese make for a great breakfast. I quickly started putting containers together with yogurt, cereal and a pickle on the side (I left off the parmesan cheese)....I hate pickles, they make me gag. They got their love for pickles from their dad, I blamed him for this one.
My girls have been my biggest supporters. When I decided to go back to school and get my bachelor's and then my master's degrees, they cheered me on. They have both since told me how proud they are of me, and how much of an inspiration I was for them. If you haven't been told by your children that you have inspired them...I can assure you, it is the best feeling ever....there are no words to describe what that is like.
When I chose to adopt Banana both girls backed me 110%. They, like me, didn't give a second thought to how she came to be in our lives, Banana was their sister, from day one. They loved her as much as I did. Besides, babies are fun..even babies born with drug addiction. Both of the girls assisted me whenever they could with Banana...changing diapers, feeding her, taking lots and lots of pictures, playing with her. Banana was the BEST toy ever...and also a good advertisement for birth control to two teenage girls!
Sometimes, I miss those days...though, not cleaning poop off the walls (I'm pretty sure the Army is glad I broke Lizard of that as well). I'm glad I wasn't a rabbit then.
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