Has it really been almost two months since I last wrote a blog?? Where did the time go?? Well, I titled the Blog "My Crazy Life" for a reason...and the past few months have been crazy! I can't even remember any of the super funny stuff that has happened because of all the super crazy stuff! Martin says I have "old timers disease"...I think it's just stress.
So in the past month, things have changed at work. I have a new boss....sort of. I'm about to get a new really LONG title which basically means Program Coordinator....but isn't call that. Lizard and her family have moved to Germany. Cat has had some health problems...and several traffic tickets that I have been trying to help her with. Thank goodness she has a supportive boyfriend.
Bubba broke his pinky finger in Phys Ed. I told him THAT is why I don't exercise because it is "dangerous". He said, "Yeah, right Mom...." It's not MY fault I like to eat and don't appear to have a shut off valve. Banana is doing great in school and is a monster at home....I suppose I can't expect her to behave ALL the time....though, once in awhile would be NICE. Martin started his own painting business and has been busy with that.
However, over the past couple months I have come to the realization that I am an addict. Specifically to food. Somehow, no one else was surprised by this, yet no one ever informed me. I'm also addicted to coffee, chocolate (which counts as food I suppose) and cigarettes. Freud would call this an oral fixation. I don't like Freud.
The problem with being addicted to food (and lazy) is that it's slowly killing me. I have high cholesterol, I'm pre-diabetic, my blood pressure is starting to do funny stuff, and my body has constant aches and pains from the extra weight it carries around. Not to mention what it's doing to my teeth (which are probably all about to fall out of my head). The other problem is that I have absolutely no motivation to fix this. I'd rather eat a whoopie pie or candy...or ice cream....or popcorn...(I could go on and on), then eat healthy food and exercise.
On top of loving food (though, oddly I hate to cook!). I'm also an emotional eater. Happy, sad, angry...well maybe not angry...tired....I eat (and drink coffee). At work it's usually junk food because I (and occasionally others) am always bringing in treats (donuts, whoopie pies, cookies, etc.). This time of year, community members start bringing treats as well. If there are sweets in the building, I can't seem to say no....I have no ambition to say no. I WANT SWEETS!!!
I told Martin the other day that I have decided to be in denial...I'm not fat...I have a benign tumor in my stomach. He said, "I do too!"...
I hate the way I look. I hate that little kids ask me if my "baby is a boy or girl?"...I'm not having a baby....it's a tumor....ok, it's not...I'm just fat....majorly obese type fat. Because I'm addicted to food.
UGH!!!
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