Children are Gross



For starters, I slept wrong last night and my neck and shoulder are very sore.  I wish my mother was a rabbit.  Actually, I'm glad she wasn't.  I would have missed out on a lot of things....

Secondly, if you haven't heard yet...Children are gross.  If you do not have your share of "disgusting" in your life and are looking for more, I suggest you get a child...or two.  Gender doesn't matter, age might...but not in my house.

After 20 minutes of yelling through the door, "BUBBA, ARE YOU UP YET?"  I finally got my key and went into his room.  (Yes, he has a lock on his door, since he is a 14 year old hormonal boy with a 6 year old nosy sister) to assist him with getting out of bed.  As I entered him room, I found that he was, indeed, already awake...with his finger shoved WAY up his nose apparently attempting to tickle his brain. 

This, of course, led to an interesting breakfast table conversation.  While the two children sat and ate their cereal and milk (I had lost my appetite, oddly), we discussed brain tickling.  We started first with "THAT'S DISGUSTING!"  followed by the socially unacceptable aspect of brain tickling.  "Bubba, do you know why the other kids might try to avoid you?"  I know for a fact that several of his teachers have also sat down with Bubba to discuss the social impact of tickling your brain during class...however, I had never actually seen him do it.

Ten minutes into the conversation, Banana starts giggling.  I ignore her, as I assume she is just another gross little kid who finds the conversation funny.  However, after several minutes of her hysterical laughter which culminated with her falling out of her chair and onto the floor while she still laughed, I was unable to ignore it any longer.  "WHAT is so funny? You should be listening to this conversation as you also frequently have been caught trying to tickle your brain!" 

She immediately stops laughing, and in her most serious voice, with her most serious face states,
"I flicked a booger on you."  Sure enough, there on the side of my face is a Banana booger. 

Bubba, apparently, found this hysterical and decided it was his turn to laugh, with a mouth full of cheerios and milk.  Said half chewed food then proceeded to come out his mouth and nose all over the kitchen table, causing both of my disgusting children to laugh hysterically.  The dogs felt they must be missing something and arrived quickly to clean up the mess as I ran off to the bathroom to scrub my face with whatever abrasive cleaner I could find.

As I sit typing, the children are off to school, my face is squeaky clean, and my table is sparkling again....but still, I wish I was a rabbit.